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Wording Etiquette

There are a number of spelling and wording conventions that apply to all parts of the invitation.

1. No punctuation is used except after courtesy titles (such as Mr. and Dr.)
2. Capital letters are treated like sentences, and are most often only capitalized as you would read wording like a sentence (not at the beginning of each line). Proper names and courtesy titles are also capitalized
3. Numbers in the date are spelled out and follow the day (Saturday, the second of July)
4. Years can or need not be used, but if you want to include it, be sure to spell it out (Two thousand and five)
5. Times are spelled out and refer to the placement of hands on a clock.
    a. Half after two or half past two (not 2:30 p.m.)
    b. Three o’clock in the afternoon (not 3:00 p.m.)
    c. Seven o’clock in the evening
6. Formal invitations are usually written in third-person. For example, “Mr. and Mrs. Craig Chastain” instead of “We.”

The Hosts

The first line is often the most difficult to iron out as it’s often seen as a way to not only convey who is hosting the wedding but who the couple would like to recognize. Before blended families and when women were brides at young ages, it was almost always the bride’s family who hosted (and thus paid for) the wedding. Now, a combination of people in a couple’s life host weddings.

Extending the Invitation

The next line—how the hosts invite their guests—varies by venue and personal taste. The most common phrase “the honour (or honor) of your presence” is traditionally reserved for worship services or a wedding that takes place in a church or synagogue. The “pleasure of your company” or “honour of your company” usually indicates that the service will not be a worship service. Again, etiquette outlines only what is traditional not what you should and should not do. Other phrases for this line include:

1. would like you to help celebrate the marriage of
2. invite you to celebrate with them at the marriage of
3. would consider it a blessing if you could be present at the marriage of
4. request the pleasure of your company
5. request the pleasure of your presence

The most formal of wedding invitations, which have gone almost completely out of style, did not use a pronoun of “you” or “your.” Rather, a blank line was left in the printed invitations in which the guests’ names would be hand written.

Mr. and Mrs. Michael Everett
request the honor of
Mr. and Mrs. David Bonner’s
presence the marriage of their daughter
Mary Joanne
to
Mr. Sean Patrick O’Shea
Saturday, the second of July
at noon
Queen Anne’s Presbyterian Church

Whose Address Should be the Return Address?

The Return Address, printed on the envelope flap, should be the address of those hosting the event. If it is a wedding and the bride's parents are hosting, then it should be the bride's parents' address - names are not commonly used with a formal return address. Please note, guests who are unable to attend or who wish to send their gift before or after your wedding date will use this address to send packages.

Whose Address Should be on the Response Envelope?

Having your name and address pre-printed on the front of the Response Card envelope is a handy and easy way to encourage your guests to respond promptly. Traditionally speaking, the hosts name and address should appear on the response envelope. However life isn't as simple as it used to be, so you may need use your own discretion. Keep in mind that the bride and groom's names should not both appear on the response envelope; for many families and religions it is frowned upon for an unmarried couple to be living at the same address.

"No Children" - How to Address this Situation

There really is no easy way to tell your guests that their beloved children are not invited. The most subtle approach is to spread the "no children" restriction by word of mouth. If you are looking for a more "formal" statement, here are two ways that avoid putting the bad news directly on the invitation:

On the reception card:

'Adult Reception'

or

On the response card:

Please respond on our before (Date)
M_________________
Number of Adults____

Contemporary Wedding Invitation Wording

Contemporary invitations can include all or just some of the traditional elements. Some couples prefer to include a quotation or poem in their invitations. Consider your invitation design when deciding what to say.

You can really have fun with the wording. We’ve seen invitations written in rhymes, in Dr. Seuss-style language, and in a completely casual voice (these started with “We’re tyin’ the knot.” Play around with wording and look everywhere for inspiration.

Poetic invitations:

Couple often forgo traditional wording and write something from their hearts.

Two friends, two hearts
joined together in friendship
united forever in love.
It is with joy that
Meera Chakborty
and
Darin Gupta
ask you to share
in a celebration of love
as we exchange our marriage vows
on Saturday, the first of August

Wording inspired by invitation design:

If your invitations have an Irish Claddaugh on them, consider using “love, loyalty and friendship” as a design element on your invitation. Or, if

Wording inspired by common interest:

Two book lovers might find it fun to include this quotation “Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore” on their invitations. Whatever the couple’s interest, there are bound to be quotations that speak to you.

Wording inspired by the event theme.

You may choose to use a verse that is related to the theme of your wedding. For instance if you are having your wedding by the ocean or on a beach:

Seaside Wedding...

Because our love is as enduring as the seas
Luke and Janet
will exchange marriage vows